Clay cat and photo by Yury Li-Toroptsov
What is your safe place? What is your inner private panic room? What do you do when your senses overload or when you begin to feel physically unsafe?
When it comes to the refuge of a safe place, we all have a different idea of a place or a thing that holds us in times of crisis. It may be a physical place that ensures physical safety and integrity. For example, Switzerland has launched a massive initiative to restore the nationwide network of bunkers due to new geopolitical tensions. The network of 370,000 private and public shelters is able to house the entire population of 9 million people in the country.
Another version of a safe place might be a moderated digital community that provides safety and support. An example of such a community might be LGBTQ+ platforms designed for youths to explore their identity in conditions free from harassment.
Psychotherapy is fundamentally designed to be a safe place. Whether delivered in person or remotely, it is built on the clinical notion of a therapeutic container involving trust, confidentiality, and non-judgement.
A social place or a tiers-lieu can serve as a safe place free from harm. Group support acts as a shield against the pressures of life. France has an exceptionally strong, state-supported network of some 4,000 tiers-lieux.
These are examples of external safe places. But what about the internal ones? Safe places we can build inside ourselves to help us weather the emotional and physical hurricanes? An inner shelter that can hold us when our sense of safety is shattered?
In fact, there is such a system built into our bodies. Our brains are designed to provide such support in times of crisis. It involves triggering mental defence mechanisms (e.g. fight-or-flight responses, dissociation) to prevent overload and preserve physical integrity and sanity.
Faith functions as an internal and metaphysical sanctuary, a container for existential anxiety.
Considering the social, political, and emotional environment we live in today, it might be a good idea to create your own structured mental panic room or, better yet, a mental anchor of safety you can consciously invoke when you feel the need.
Psychological frameworks such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and trauma-informed care might inspire us to build an internal sanctuary. How does one do that?
Select a location. It can be a real or imaginary place. The important thing is that this location should be free of negative or traumatic associations.
Engage all the senses. Make this place as real and vivid as possible by engaging all five senses.
a. Sight: Notice the objects, shapes, and colours that constitute the place (a warm, sunny valley, a forest, or a blue lake, etc.).
b. Sounds: Imagine the ambient noises or silence (birds singing, waves splashing, etc.).
c. Smells: Recall pleasant smells (the smell of a sea breeze, warm bread, etc.).
d. Physical sensations: Invoke tactile sensations (soft sand, warm wood, cushy pillows, etc.).
e. Taste: Are you eating or drinking in the scene? (Warm jasmine tea, milk, etc.).Notice body sensations and emotions. Scan your body from head to toe and become aware of how you feel in your body (a soft belly, relaxed shoulders, etc.).
Assign a cue word and a gesture. Choose a word or a simple phrase that describes the state (safe, calm, bliss, refuge). Pair it with a physical gesture to trigger it (a hand over the heart, palms pressed together in front of the chest, etc.).
Apply bilateral stimulation to install it. Hold the image, sensory details, and positive feelings in mind. Introduce several brief rounds of bilateral stimulation by tapping gently on your knees, left-right, left-right.
Test and repeat. Practise the routine regularly so it naturally becomes readily available to you when needed.
Your inner safe place should not be a place of permanent residency, but a resourcing technique, an exercise that allows you to deal with trop-plein and maintain a sense of feeling grounded. It won’t solve the root cause of your stress or suffering, but it will hopefully give you a tool to deal with it by giving you a moment to catch your breath and exhale.
